I HATE that question. Always have done, even when I was a kid. My sisters and I were asked to make a list every year, and though there were always things I wanted, there was something incredibly self-indulgent about writing it all down and expecting somebody to go out and get them for me. It just felt a bit...greedy.
Yet even though I hated being asked THAT question, once the clocks have been turned back and the first Christmas ads start sneaking onto our screens I find myself asking it, as though something in my brain has been switched on to autopilot at the first whiff of Christmas. I'm beginning to understand why adults are so enthusiastic about their kids making lists; what do you get a twelve year-old, or a three year-old, or a sixteen year-old, especially when these kids already have everything? If you don't have kids yourself and therefore have no idea if they're still watching 'Postman Pat' or if he's been upgraded to 'Courier Colin' these days, the Christmas List is worth its weight in gold.
It's just that...lists, and people parroting about the latest celebrity hardback takes the gloss off Christmas for me. I like surprising people, and I like to be surprised with something thoughtful and well-chosen; something picked because that person knows me, knows who I am and what I like. I especially love it when somebody chooses a book for me, something I might not have picked out myself in the shop but when I read it, it becomes an instant classic. A friend once bought me a bookmark for Christmas. It was the best present I ever got, mainly because she didn't ask me what I wanted, she just went out and got me something she thought I would like.
So why, if I like surprises so much, do I still ask people what they want for Christmas? I think it might be about acceptance; you can get them something within the realms of their expectations and 'check' if it's alright. Even if we like it, we shy away from surprising people; how many times are you handed a present with the giver coughing nervously "the receipt's in the bag if you want to take it back?" (I am guilty of doing this myself).
Some people ask what you want in the form of an order, with a hint of accusation in their voice; if you can't readily come up with something you want that's affordable and easy to buy, you're not to blame them if you end up getting something you hate. But is present-giving only about getting people what they want? What about the 'quirky', weird and wonderful things you always get (mainly from well-meaning older relatives) that you had no conception of wanting or not wanting because you didn't know they existed in the first place, but make you smile anyway? Case in point: my Dad buying me a yellow bath towel one Christmas, and my Nan proudly presenting me with a kitchen air freshener selection pack that had no actual smell because it had already been used. (Nan is also fond of giving opened boxes of chocolates with a couple of said chocolates pre-snaffled, but that's another story). Isn't that the real spirit of Christmas, or of present-giving in general?
So this year: be bold. Don't ask anybody what they want for Christmas, just buy them what you think they'd like. And if that happens to be a cracked china dog sold for 50p at your local boot sale, or a signed photograph of Rolf Harris, then so be it. They'll remember you forever, at least.
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