"You've got too much time on your hands!"

The phrase "You've got too much time on your hands!" is one of my most hated.  Why?  Because however well-meaning the person saying it might have been; however light-hearted the sentiment, it's still, for me, incredibly patronising; implying that the person saying it is doing things of MUCH more importance and significance than you are, with your flower-arranging, stamp-collecting, toe-picking or...well, even just breathing in some cases.

Since I gave up working a traditional nine-to-five a few years ago I've had this little saying scattered about in my direction quite liberally.  Case in point: a visit to my sister's house a few weeks ago.  It was a nice day, so I decided to walk home.  She lives about an hour's walk away; not that much (to me anyway, as someone who doesn't drive!).  But when mentioning it casually to a friend later on, she remarked in surprised horror "You walked home - for a whole hour?  My God, you've got far too much time on your hands"


The same thing happened when, as part of my pursuit of learning Russian, I tried my hand (so to speak!) at a few Russian crosswords.  Don't think I'm trying to impress here, by the way - they were kiddie-level ones I (rather frustratingly) couldn't complete.  However, on talking to another friend in passing, he displayed the same level of semi-horror.  "Russian crosswords!"  he exclaimed, almost spilling his Peroni-and-lime with the shock of it all.  "Oh dear, you really do have too much time on your hands, don't you?"  


If I mention that I've read 'War and Peace', or any other book that lasts a bit longer than about ten pages, then I'm eyed with suspicion - where on Earth have I found the time to read all that?!

(As a little aside, I don't understand people who say they "don't have the time" to read.  When I was working regimented days I would read before work, or in my lunch hour, or on the train, or before going to bed - even if I only had ten minutes to do so.   And if you're reading regularly, then you'll get through anything you like eventually, whether it's a dogeared copy of 'Take a Break' or a huge doorstop of a book.  No - people who "don't have the time" to read simply don't really WANT to read.  Just admit it!)

Now I do understand that if you display offence or annoyance at a suggestion, then that might mean there's more truth to it than you might care to admit.  And I know that to an outsider, my life might seem a bit cushy.  After all, I have no major day-to-day responsibilities - no kids, no pets, no nine-to-five with a horrible boss (well, unless I count myself...which I do!).  But I've chosen all that.  As has the person with kids; as has the person with pets; as has, within certain reason, the person with the nine-to-five with a horrible boss.  Incidentally, when I was that person, I was the most incorrigible bore on the planet.  All I ever talked (read: moaned) about was work.  A friend actually sowed the seeds to my setting up a business on my own and writing a novel; two things I've always wanted to do...when she exasperatedly exhaled to me one evening over a glass of red: "for God's sake, if you hate it so much, just leave!"


Since I left structured employment I've worked harder than I ever have; every day I get more done than I ever did working in an office, during which time I did a lot of 'coasting' because I was bored.  But because I was in 'gainful employment'; because I was playing the game and getting paid to be there, nobody ever said I had too much time on my hands, even when I used to spend entire Sundays doing absolutely nothing at all.  Now I spend no days doing absolutely nothing at all.  I spend every single day dipping in and out of things I actually enjoy.  If I "don't have the time" for something, then that generally means I don't want to do it.  Deep down, that's what I think about everyone who says that kind of thing.  If you want to do something, you'll find some time for it, whatever pressing obligations you may have.  And we all have exactly the same amount of time on our hands every day, to get on with the things we've generally chosen to do.  So there!

(Am I being naive, saying that?  Oh, probably.  I've just got too much time on my hands to think about it, that's all).