The sun and the moon...are they the same thing?!

Recently I read an snippet in the paper about the 'Celebrity Big Brother' winner and former patron of the Essex pub in which my sister worked (where according to my sister she was "a bit in love with herself") Chantelle Houghton, who exclusively revealed that up until fairly recently, she had thought the sun and the moon were one and the same.  This was followed by a few sneering sentences about her general stupidity from the journalist reporting it.

Now I know Ms. Houghton isn't exactly renowned for being the sharpest pencil in the case, but I felt a bit sorry for her. I'm willing to bet we've all had thoughts that, taken in isolation and reported in the national press, could make us sound ever-so-slightly dense.  For posterity, here are a few of mine.

1. You know when you're talking to someone, or you're watching the news, and you're reminded that "the clocks go forward/back tonight"?  Well, right up until I moved out of home at the age of nineteen I thought all clocks just did this of their own volition.  When I was a lot younger I tried staying up until 2am just so I could see all the clocks going back at the same time, but I was never able to stay awake that long.  Then I moved out of home and I realised my Dad had been putting all the clocks forward and backwards himself.  The truth felt a lot less magical.

2. I once worked in an office where I had to answer telephone requests from newsagents to send out retail promotion packs (and people wonder why I wanted to work for myself?!) Someone called up from Galashiels in Scotland.  I'd never heard of Galashiels and wrote it on the envelope as 'Gala Shields'.  The Sales Director happened to be wandering past my desk at this very moment; he looked at the envelope and burst out laughing.  "It's Galashiels, not Gala Shields!  They haven't just won an award for the 25 metres in swimming!"  I laughed back and said I'd done it as a joke; I'd thought it might have made them smile when the pack arrived.  But I was lying.  I really had thought there was a place called 'Gala Shields'.

3. My Mum used to live on Southend seafront when I was little, and for years I thought I was looking at America when I looked out of her front window (I'd thought the Thames Estuary was actually the Atlantic Ocean). It was ever-so-slightly embarrassing to be told, in voices shaking with laughter, that it was just the Kent coast I'd been viewing in fascinated wonder through the window.

So just a few 'thicko' examples there, then.  If I ever become a famous and sophisticated author a la JK Rowling, expect to see them recreated in the Daily Mail along with the customary sneers!