Everybody's so "proud to be British" these days. And blimey, don't they want you to KNOW about it. I always thought of quintessential Britishness as being synonymous with a sort of quiet dignity mixed with an endearing curmudgeonly demeanour. Not any more though, eh. I'd tut and roll my eyes to the sky if I thought it was socially acceptable to do so.
But of course in 2012 it's most certainly not. I've been forced to assume the role of a "proud to be British" person over the last few weeks for the sake of my work. The clients I've met and the job interviews I've been to have all started with a cheery opening sentence along the lines of "...so have you been watching the Olympics - aren't they great? Team GB all the way! It's so refreshing, isn't it? Makes you proud to be British!" And they're all so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed about it all that I can't bear to burst their bubble by replying that a) I haven't been watching the Olympics, and b) pride based simply upon being born somewhere seems rather strange to me. So I just smile and nod along instead, whilst feeling slightly ashamed that those actually are my opinions and feelings about it all when most other people are genuinely proud and happy. In essence, I'm hiding my quintessential Britishness by pretending I'm proud to be British. It's all very twisted, I have to say.
But I do just want to touch, just for a moment, on the strangeness of why people are so proud to be British because they've seen the Queen's jubilee and the 2012 Olympics; two events most people have nothing to do with save for general proximity to them. I'm not proud to be British; I just am British, because I was born in Rochford. But I didn't have any say in the matter; where you're from is one of those niggly things that just happens in life. I've always felt happy to be British, though; and I consider myself genuinely lucky to come from and live somewhere democratic and relatively caring. Maybe that's why I felt a bit put out by the whole Olympics thing, actually - because it's the very antithesis of anything truly British. The opening ceremony was more American in its spirit of trying desperately to impress on the world stage; of hubristically shoving all our achievements in people's faces when what I consider we've always excelled at is quietly doing the right thing, then just getting on with it. (Apart from when we invented concentration camps and masterminded the concept of eugenics, of course, but we didn't cover those important aspects of our history in the opening ceremony so it's all good).
To be British has always meant, to me, being gentle and generally caring in nature; we have a welfare state, the existence of which comes closest to making me feel "proud to be British" than anything else. Yet the money it so desperately needs has been churned into a party which celebrates single-minded achievements that don't actually matter. Great entertainment, and perhaps inspiring for some people, but for me personally, it's hard to garner actual pride from any of that.
Of course, I didn't say any of this in my client meetings or my job interviews, because I would have come across as what I actually am; a horrible old grump who wants to rain on everybody's parade - and as most people know, you must wait until you're a few weeks into a new job before you treat people to the real you! So on that note I shall move on, to the cheery world of reality TV.
Now, anyone who knows me, knows I'm partial to a bit of reality telly. But what amazes me about it every year is that...the same things happen every year. In a world in which there is such a gaping lack of creative thought in entertainment, I propose that it must fall to the general public taking part in these reality shows to provide it. Just how much better would the 'X Factor' be if someone were to apply, struggle through all those queues and the gruelling pre-audition process, deliver a stunning rendition in front of that crowd of baying plebs and the savvy-yet-mostly-untalented judges, get four "Yes"s and then simply go... "nah" and walk off the stage? And how about the contestants on 'Big Brother' realise they don't have to backbite and nominate other people every week - why don't they all just decide en masse that they're not going to play, rather than gripe about how "hard and upsetting" it all is?
Come on...mix it up a bit! Humanity needs you.
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