That rubbish 'Match.com' advert has just been on. You know, the one where a man and a woman are playing instruments in what looks like a junk shop and he starts singing "I like..." and then she sings "...old movies", and then after we've established that she likes 'The Godfather 3' they turn around and smile at each-other. But you just know the relationship isn't going to last, because when she sings "Godfather 3" he looks puzzled and sings "that's not considered the best one" before seemingly letting it go after he's got a good look at her and realised she isn't covered in warts. But that fleeting, puzzled look says it all...and it'll all come back to haunt him. Two years down the line when they've broken up and he's being consoled over a pint with a friend he'll say "You know what the worst thing about her was? She wanted to watch 'The Godfather 3 every bloody night. I told her it wasn't considered the best one, but she wouldn't listen" He's a perfectionist, and perfectionists deserve to stay single.
Anyway, how is that ad conducive to an internet dating website? That wasn't how they met - they actually got off their backsides and went out (albeit to a mad junk shop, but still...)
A friend of mine used Match.com and she said it was 'The Sun' of internet dating. She had a few dates with a man who ordered the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu, and another with a voice like Leslie Phillips, then gave up and sent me her list of 'matches' every day for me to have a laugh at, and usually it worked; the best one being a man whose profile photo was of him sitting at his computer...which was surrounded by pictures of topless women he'd cut out of newspapers. Wow! What a catch.
It also seems that pretty much everybody on Match.com is looking for "someone I can cuddle up with on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a DVD". I lost count of the amount of times I saw that on people's profiles and my advice would be: if you're looking for a relationship, try not to emulate what happens ten years down the line once all the dullness has set in.
(It's a good thing I'm not looking for anyone myself, because as you've probably guessed I can be a bit too discerning at the best of times).
I saw an advert for eharmony.com once, and it looked so pompous and holier-than-thou that I was tempted to have a look, just to see what the process involved. So I did (with the full knowledge of my husband I might add), chose my relationship status as 'Separated' and was then taken through a set of questionnaires which took nearly an hour to complete ('would you ever steal from a shop?' seems a strange question to ask people looking for love, but I suppose they can't risk putting a stealer with a non-stealer - where would it all end?)
Once I'd finished the registration process (remember that it took nearly an hour!) I was rudely told that "we don't accept separated people as members". I'd have argued hysterically as to why they had it as an option in the first place, but then I remembered that my real status is actually 'Married' so I didn't push it.
If I were ever to find myself 'on the market' again I think I'd just embrace cats and cardigans. Far less effort all round.
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