Too much information!

I suppose you could say I'm OK at navigating the internet, but not brilliant.   I know how to do all the basics, like typing and clicking on links.  I'm great at that bit, actually.  But it's taken me all of seven months to notice that this blog thingy has a 'Stats' section, which shows me how many 'page views' I've had for each of my posts (by the way, please don't worry if you're reading this and you don't want me to know you're reading this for whatever reason...you're safe; it doesn't tell me WHO you are...it doesn't show me a rosy picture of you sitting in front of your PC in stained tracksuit bottoms, a bowl of cheesy Wotsits at your side...and if that was accurate it was purely coincidental, of course).

I wish I hadn't found this 'Stats' page.  Because now I'll be looking at it every day, frantically checking to see if my rivetingly witty posts have reached a wider audience than I intended them to (i.e. more than one person, that person being me).  I suppose it's the same kind of hunger people sometimes get when they log into Facebook and there's this teasing little post on a friend's profile, stating "I found out who's been viewing my profile!  Just click here and see who's been following you!" 

But the problem with these Facebook "profile checkers" (which I must admit I've never tried to use, so I've no idea if they even work) and the 'Stats' page on this blog is that they'll only ever give you part of the story, then they just leave you feeling a bit empty.  OK, so you might find out that someone you like has viewed your profile 1,000 times in the past month.  But all that fact really does is make you wonder why; did their computer contract some sort of virus that kept involuntarily clicking on your wonderful and beautiful and witty profile; did they do it because they think you're wonderful and beautiful and witty, or do they in fact just have a morbid fascination with how rubbish you are.  Like when I sometimes seek out articles by the worst journalists in the Daily Mail because I can't quite understand why anybody takes them seriously.

It's the same with my 'Stats' page.  It might be all wizzy and lovely and informative...except it isn't, because it's not telling me what I really want to know, which is if people ARE reading this, are they enjoying it, or do they think it's terrible but they still just can't keep away?  Is it the same person reading this blog and clicking on it numerous times just to try and wind me up, or is it different people; people clicking on it by accident and then reading the first few lines and thinking...."nah"

See what I mean?  It's like when 1471 first came in...everyone thought "Great, now I'll know who's been calling me", but then it became more of a hindrance when they tried it and they wondered why Adrian called them five times on Tuesday and didn't leave a message; and whereabouts is the area code 08761 and who do they know that lives there and why didn't they leave a message either, and why do some people block their numbers before they call, it's so bloody infuriating, and what have they got to hide anyway?

(I have never thought any of this myself, by the way.  They were just a few examples of how the fact you can never really know what's in someone's mind when they click on a blog, or a Facebook profile, or call without leaving a message can be a bit annoying, that was all).